Getting rid of debt... the good, the bad, and the ugly

Before David and I got married, we talked about buying a house, living with no debt, and having a savings that was strong enough to hold us up in case of an emergency. We needed to start making decisions then that would impact the rest of our lives together. This was so much easier to say than to actually do. We both had our own things we enjoyed. He liked buying things for his truck and himself, and I liked buying clothes and going out to dinner. These things were holding us back from living our family dream of owning a house, having children and providing for them, and living with no debt.

Soon after we were engaged, my mother in law found out that there was a Dave Ramsey class at the church that she belonged to. She offered to help us pay for the course so that we could learn some of the tips to be able to make our financial dreams come true. The Dave Ramsey class gave us good insight into what we were doing wrong. We had no plan of action and we were just spending money anywhere and everywhere trying to make some headway on paying off some bill somewhere. We slowly started paying off bills and making BETTER decisions about our money. We knew we needed to make these changes to better our life together at the beginning of our marriage.

However, once we finished the class, it was like we never took it in the first place. We were back to where we started. He was spending money on his stuff and I was spending money on my stuff. There was no communication about financial goals because the class was done... right???

At this point, we were just married, had a little money in savings, and were renting a house. There would be months that we tracked our financial situation, but then that would come and go as we had money in the bank and then no money in the bank.

4 months after getting married we got pregnant. We were SO excited! I had always wanted to be a mom and I was so excited. But then reality set in that we had to find money to pay for this child we so badly wanted. Where were we going to find that money?? Well we took out a credit card and charged and charged and charged the on other ones. One day we would have that money... we just KNEW it!

Soon that precious baby came along with the formula, diapers, and clothes. We were digging ourselves into a bigger and bigger hole. We didn't tell anyone because if we didn't acknowledge it, it wasn't there... right??? Well last November David and I had a sit down meeting with each other about finances. We realized that we were both spending money and not telling each other. As we started to open up to family, we soon decided that we needed to change. We were going to be a rock bottom if we didn't fix something and something fast. After a few days and a lot of tears, we decided that we needed to move our of our rental home and in with the in-laws. This was a big step for me, but I knew that I needed to do this for my family. In the process, I lost a little dignity but I now know this was the right decision for my family.

We have a wonderful apartment in the basement of their home. We go upstairs to sleep but are able to cook, do laundry, and live downstairs in our own space. We have learned a lot about our marriage. We now don't argue about money. We have conversations about the best way to spend our money instead of just spending away. We have started to bring those Dave Ramsey principals back into our family. We are in the process on moving to that life that we dreamed of over 2 years ago!